Budgeting is Hard, Especially with Bipolar Disorder

Budgeting has never been my strong suit. In fact, I’m pretty horrible at it. It’s not just about numbers or spreadsheets, it’s about making tough decisions with limited resources. Right now, I don’t have a high-paying job. I’ve been my mom’s caregiver for years, and only recently did I start getting paid for it.

While I’m grateful for the income, it’s simply not enough to sustain true independence and comfortability. Managing money has always been difficult, but with my bipolar disorder, it becomes even more of a challenge.

When I hit a hypomanic episode, my brain tells me I need something. It convinces me that this purchase will bring me happiness, purpose, or even just a fleeting sense of control. There’s a rush of adrenaline and excitement when I order something online. I anticipate waiting for it to arrive. I feel it will be something new and high quality.

Because, unfortunately, I also have somewhat expensive taste. And damn whoever thought of monthly payment plans. Klarna, Afterpay, and all those services make it way too easy to justify purchases. “Oh, it’s only $20 a month!” But that $20 here and $30 there start to add up. Before I know it, I’m financially stretched thin. I know I need to be better at budgeting.

I’ve tried different methods—tracking expenses, setting spending limits, and even deleting shopping apps from my phone. But some days, the temptation is too strong. I think part of the solution lies in addressing the root causes.

I need to find healthier ways to manage my impulses. It’s also important to set up stricter financial boundaries and work toward a more stable income.For now, though, I’m taking it one step at a time. I am learning from my mistakes.

I hope to gain better control over my spending habits. If you’ve struggled with budgeting, especially while dealing with mental health challenges, just know you’re not alone. It’s tough, but we’ll get through it, one responsible purchase at a time.

“A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it.”

William Feather