Managing Complaints: A Neurodivergent Perspective

Daily writing prompt

What do you complain about the most?

View all responses

Let’s face it: complaining is part of life. We all have those moments when everything feels wrong. The weather’s too hot. The service is too slow. Or you’re stuck waiting in a never-ending line. Sometimes, it seems like nothing goes right. For me, my fuse is short, and I often feel overwhelmed with impatience and irritation. 

Over the years, I’ve noticed that I can complain too much. I often do this in front of friends and family. It’s quite embarrassing once I realize just how much I’ve spewed into a complaint. It’s almost as though my mind gets stuck in a loop of irritation. Every little inconvenience triggers a new complaint. Sometimes, the world around me feels almost unbearable and utterly exhausting. 

I feel like I’m a broken record most of time. As if my friends are thinking of me like, “Here she is complaining again.” I don’t want to be negative, but It just always comes across that way. Sometimes, the world around you can feel shattering and too hard to navigate. 

First off, I must divulge my greatest complaint, temperature sensitivity. I’ve come to learn that it is your body’s response to sensory overload. It’s either too hot or too cold. There is no middle ground, and I do not feel completely satisfied, regardless of my efforts to adjust. 

Thus, it makes it difficult to relax and contain composure if out in a social setting. I’m also incredibly sensitive to light; especially sunlight. I can’t leave the house without my sunglasses, and they need to be as dark and tinted as possible. I sometimes feel like I am allergic to the sun. The light is too bright, and I’m essentially a vampire emerging to meet the inevitable doom. 

Clothing stores, malls, markets, and other similar places can often make me physically ill. With all the commotion going on around me, I get sweaty and nervous. I get nausea, dizziness, and headaches. It’s horrible. I get extremely frustrated with long lines; the wait feels like torture.

I’ve learned that people with ADHD often struggle with time perception. When things aren’t “right here, right now,” the complaints just roll off my tongue. This involuntarily. I could be speaking to someone, or just to myself, yet out loud. This can be very embarrassing, and I’m left feeling rather foolish. 

My struggle with decision fatigue is also something that deals the cards. Especially when it comes to food. Can we talk about that for a second? Deciding where you want to eat can be overwhelming. Figuring out what to cook that night for dinner can also send me spiraling. I become anxious and numb. I get mentally paralyzed by the overwhelming number of choices, and it leads to brain fog.

There’s always a sense of cloudiness in my mind. It is difficult to manage making “good” or “bad” decisions. I’m just so overwhelmed. It sounds ridiculous to get nervous over menus and food. However, I can’t seem to ease the tension I feel.

Disrespect is also a major peeve of mine. I naturally have rejection sensitivity dysphoria, and sometimes the disrespect can feel like a punch to the face. As someone with values and consideration of others, the disregard can often trigger a cascade of complaints, fueled by anger.

I try to protect and defend myself at all costs. For those with autism, like me, maintaining clear communication and mutual respect are key to every social encounter. So, if I feel dishonored, it leads to frustration and rage.

I have compiled and shared a small list of my complaints. Now, I want to enlighten you as to how ADHD and Autism might be a contributing factor. People with ADHD often experience a sense of urgency and an immediate need for resolution. Equally, Autism involves challenges with sensory processing, social communication, and emotional regulation.

As earlier mentioned, physical discomfort from factors like temperature, light, and noise can be overwhelming. Personally, I like structured routines with minimal surprises, unless I am warned of changes made in advance.  At least then I have time to process the transition from one thing to another. 

Overall, my neurodivergence is a crucial first step in recognizing and understanding my complaints. It’s way too easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “Why am I always like this?” or “Am I just a negative person?” I’ve learned that ADHD and Autism influence how I perceive the world. It might be different from others’ experiences, but it doesn’t discount my feelings.

I want to try and learn how to manage my dysregulation. I want to take a different approach to situations with more grace and empathy. I truthfully don’t want to be negative and complain all the time, but It’s innate. Sometimes I can’t help it when it comes out. It’s just who I am, and the journey I am on. 

Myself as a kid. Even then the sun was too much.