Embracing Authenticity: A New Year’s Journey

silhouetted couple exploring piha archway

I’ve personally never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions. They often feel like too much pressure to put on yourself. Most of the time I think that they are unrealistic ambitions that I can never seem to follow through with. The famous motto is always, “a new year, a new me.” And while I like and admire this mantra, nothing ever changes. At least for me. I think my desires and goals don’t last very long because of my comfort and familiarity with routine habits. I often get overwhelmed by the number of things I want to do. It all becomes just too much to handle. I’m not going to set up your typical resolutions this year. Instead, I’m going to continue my journey of self growth and healing from a lifetime of self neglect and stagnation.

Looking back at 2024, I see many challenges and struggles, in yet I see so much more motivation and ambition. My year was a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. In the beginning of the year, I went through a horrible episode of depression. I constantly felt guilt and hopelessness, and couldn’t imagine anything ever getting better. I seemed to get out of that funk somehow, but the turmoil wasn’t over. I then felt so disassociated from everything and everyone. I’m not sure why exactly that happened. I felt like a small, meek person trapped in my body. I was trying to scream for help. But no one was there. Especially the only person who can rectify the situation, myself. I couldn’t escape the hurt of isolation and loneliness.

It wasn’t until the end of this year that I had somewhat of an epiphany. I decided I was fed up with feeling down. I found the courage to crush the enemy within myself. I chose to take action. I wanted to learn more about who I am and what I want. I’m now very passionate about advocacy. It drives me to be persistent, and I strive to help create the change society desperately needs.

My goal for this new year is simple: be myself. I don’t want my fear and anxiety to hold me back anymore. They’ve kept me from enjoying life. I want a life that feels simple yet full of wonder and possibilities. I want to shed the protective layers I’ve worn for too long and be more open to the unknown. Breaking out of this shell has been a real struggle for me. However, I’m slowly starting to see the light come to the surface.

I also want to connect more intentionally with those around me. I aim to listen deeply and be present for my close friends. They have always supported me, even when I didn’t feel deserving. Sometimes, I still worry about being judged, which leads me to feel like I need to entertain or act. But I realize my friends are there because they care. I don’t need to constantly prove my worth.

As I step into this new year, I carry the belief that I have what I need. I am ready to make it meaningful. There will be setbacks and moments of doubt, but I know that growth comes with discomfort. Every experience teaches me something, and each lesson brings me closer to the person I want to be.

So, here’s to breaking out of my shell and embracing whatever this year brings. Every small step forward is a win, and most importantly, I’m choosing to prioritize happiness. For today, tomorrow, and every day after.

Happy New Years! Bring it on 2025!