Prompt: Embracing Positive Relationships

What relationships have a positive impact on you?

The most meaningful relationships that have left a positive impact on me are with my closest friends. They have been an incredible support system for me throughout the years. I truly feel as though I can be my authentic self around them. However, that wasn’t until recently. I began seeing myself for who I truly am on the inside. Only then did I become comfortable opening up.

My personal struggles and experiences always left me to feel isolated and alone. I never wanted to burden anyone with my problems, so I would neglect deeper connections that I desired so much. I just always felt that I’m a problem, and that my presence wasn’t necessary or needed. I would constantly feel so nervous about opening my mouth and saying something stupid, or irrelevant. It thus made me so closed off and buried deeper in my shell. The question is, and it still boggles me, is “Why do they like me?” I never seemed to notice any good qualities about myself. I used to think that I was too shy and quiet. I felt awkward and weird. I believed that I was out of sorts for people to like me. But they still remained my friends.

For the longest time, I couldn’t see myself in a positive light. I’m the girl used to being stepped on, overlooked, and rather invisible. I’m the shy girl who couldn’t formulate a sentence without an uncontrollable shaky voice. I’m a person observing everyone around me, but not feeling important enough to contribute to the conversation. I’m the person people go to for help and advice, yet I never take my own. There have been so many plaguing thoughts that have generally destroyed my confidence and self-worth. I still struggle with so much, but I’m slowly starting to make my presence known.

My friends see something good in me. They appreciate my personality and everything that comes with it. I’m eternally grateful for the connections I’ve built in my life. They have helped me become the person I am today. And I think I’m pretty damn fantastic. Because of their love and support, I am free. I had laid out chains for myself, but I broke through them. Being comfortable opening up and sharing my story has been one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences. I’m pretty sure my friends would say the same. They’re happy that I’ve learned self-acceptance and are saying, “It’s about damn time, Nikki.”