Reevaluating Our Joyful Habits

Lately, I’ve been drinking more coffee than usual.  I used to only drink one cup every morning. But somehow, that single comforting cup turned into two… then three… and now, sometimes four.  I just love the flavor.  I want to taste it all the time—bold, rich, slightly bitter, a little sweet.  It’s a habit that keeps calling me back.

And no, I don’t do decaf.

It doesn’t make me anxious like it used to.  I think my body has just gotten used to it over the years.  But I’ll never forget one morning, years ago, sitting in a Denny’s with a few friends.  We were bridesmaids, meeting to talk about the wedding.  I only ordered coffee—skipping breakfast because I’ve never been a fan of their food.  I thought we’d be there for maybe an hour, but it turned into several.  And to no one’s acknowledgment, I kept refilling my cup.

By the time I got home, I was vibrating.  Jittery.  My heart racing.  I genuinely thought I was on the edge of a panic attack. That night taught me my limit—though clearly, I’ve conveniently forgotten it.

Now?  Coffee doesn’t hit me that hard anymore.  But I’ve started noticing other things.  Like how I’ll drink two cups before realizing I haven’t eaten.  My appetite has been off lately, and coffee fills the space where food should be.  It’s become a habit that comforts me, but it doesn’t nourish me.

And that’s where the conflict comes in.  Because this habit brings me joy.  But it’s not a habit I want to keep.

I know I need to shift—maybe ease into tea or give myself a hard stop after cup number one.  Not because I want to be perfect, but because I want to care for myself in a deeper way.  Not just comfort… but real nourishment.

Coffee has been more than just a drink.  It’s been a small necessity.  Some days, I genuinely feel off if I don’t have at least one cup.  It’s like taking daily medication—there’s a kind of placebo effect, a ritual that signals okay, the day has started.

But maybe now, it’s time to hold onto something else.  Because even the smallest habits we love sometimes need to be released.  It might sound simple—just coffee.But sometimes, the smallest things say the most about what we’re truly craving.

“Sometimes we cling to the things that once saved us—even when we’ve outgrown them.”

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