Defining Your Life Principles for Authentic Living

Lately, I’ve been wondering about what truly defines the way I live my life.  I’m not talking about goals or achievements, but the principles that guide my choices, shape my actions, and reflect who I want to be at my core. Principles help us navigate uncertainty, and remind us who we are, especially when everything feels fuzzy. 

Most of my life, I never had a clear sense of mine.  I lived by societal expectations, trying to please others, fit in, or just do whatever seemed “right.”  But over time, I started to uncover what truly matters to me.

My Guiding Principles

Here are a few that have shaped my journey:

1. Authenticity.
I want to live my life as no one other than me.  It’s been hard to that though after years of masking, trying to hold up a happy front.  What I really want is to let the mask down and just be myself without caring what others think of me.  I believe it’s important to show the world your truest self because it allots freedom and sincerity.  

2. Compassion.
I’ve always been very compassionate towards others, but not always to myself.  I’ve had a hard time with self-acceptance because I never felt like I was enough.  I’d doubt myself, put myself down, and view myself as weak.  But I’ve been turning a new leaf and working on showing myself more compassion.  This principle is something that I’m very proud to carry because it shows my innate caring nature and my ability to be a stronghold for others. 

3. Growth.
For me, self-growth was halted for years due to depression.  I had a real rough patch for nearly a decade, and it was one that was nearly impossible to get out of.  There was no growth, only heavy shame and guilt.  But I had somewhat of an epiphany and started to come out of my shell.  Since then, little by little, I’ve grown in many ways.  I know appreciate every little step toward healing and recognize when I’ve turned a negative into a positive.  Growth is continual and it takes time and patience, but I’ve learned that every experience, especially the hard ones, can be a teacher.

4. Boundaries.
I’ve been honoring my limits by taking a step back and using the word “no.” For a long time I thought saying no would cause me to lose friendships, so I’d always say yes to practically everything.  I’d bend over backwards for the people I love because I thought saying yes meant love in return.  But I reached a breaking point and realized that I didn’t want to constantly be stepped over or made to feel bad for saying no.  So, I set boundaries for myself, and I no longer push my limits.  I say no without guilt.  If someone doesn’t like or chalks it up as being rude, that’s their problem, not mine. 

5. Gratitude.
I find joy in simplicity.  I notice the little thigs in life such as the scent of blooming jasmine on a warm summer evening, or the way the fresh rainwater drops from the leaves of a tree.  Gratitude is something that doesn’t erase pain, but it certainly restores balance to it.  I’m grateful for so much in my life—friends, family, and freedom—but one thing in particular that I cherish most is that I’ve learned to be grateful for myself.  

Reflection

The beautiful thing about principles is that they’re not fixed.  They evolve as we do.  What mattered deeply to me five years ago might not hold the same meaning today.  

Life changes us and so does healing.  I’ve taken the time to uncover what truly defines how I lice.  And I’ve learned that my core value are no longer shaped by fear or expectation.  They’re shaped by truth. 

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

Carl Jung