The Role of Food in Autism and Comfort Routines
For most of my life, I didn’t understand why I clung so tightly to certain foods or why I had such specific routines around eating. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with autism two years ago that it all started to make more sense. Suddenly, I understood why familiar foods felt so comforting, why routines around food mattered so much to me, and why certain textures or patterns felt impossible to ignore.
Childhood Comfort Foods
Growing up, one of my biggest comfort foods was beef taquitos—the frozen kind. I forget the brand it used to be, but unfortunately, they don’t make them anymore. I always stuck to the same brands because I knew they wouldn’t let me down. Taquitos were one of those foods that always welcomed me home after a long day at school.
I remember coming home exhausted, overstimulated, anxious, and completely drained from trying to make it through the day. And what I wanted—what I needed—was always the same thing: beef taquitos with melted cheddar cheese on top and taco sauce to dip. That became part of my routine. It was something I could count on after days that left me mentally and emotionally worn out.
At home, dinners followed a pretty predictable rotation: tuna spaghetti, breaded chicken, meatloaf, beef stroganoff—all comfort foods by most everyone’s standards. They weren’t the healthiest meals, but they were reliable, familiar, and comforting. They gave me a sense of stability when life felt unpredictable and overwhelming.
Routines and Safe Foods
I also had very specific ways of eating. One thing at a time. No mixing. Anything too grainy, chunky, or slimy? Forget it. I arranged everything a certain way on my plate so certain foods weren’t touching. Even when I went out to eat, I almost always ordered the same meal every single time. Restaurants became another place where routine and familiarity made me feel safe.
One of my biggest safe foods has always been In-N-Out. My order: cheeseburger with onion only, extra side of onions, and a very specific way of eating it—bite of the burger, French fry dipped in ketchup, bite of the extra onion, sip of soda. Same pattern. Same order. Every time. Still to this day. I need that comfort in routine because if something is off, my brain just doesn’t process it well.
Growing Up, Expanding My Palate
I used to think I would never leave my comfort zone when it came to food, but as an adult, I have. My taste buds have expanded. I try foods now that I never would have touched before. I’m even mixing things together on my plate now, which younger me never would have done. And when I go out to eat, I’m more open to ordering something different.
But even with that, I still stay close to the foods that feel safe. The ones that remind me of home.
Food has become a passion of mine over the years because it’s always been there for me through good times and bad. And now, I look at food differently. I’m more open than I used to be, but I still understand why comfort matters so much to me. I don’t want my relationship with food to just be about fear, restriction, or being seen as the “picky eater.” I want it to be something I can enjoy more fully—while still honoring the parts of me that need familiarity and comfort.
Being Neurodivergent and Finding Safety in Food
Being neurodivergent has made me realize why my relationship with food has always felt different. I crave familiarity and routine. I crave patterns that make me feel emotionally safe. Clinging to certain foods isn’t just some random quirk. For me, it’s a way of coping, regulating, and finding comfort.
Whether it was taquitos after school, a predictable dinner at home, or my very specific In-N-Out order, food has always been tied to comfort for me. These weren’t just meals I liked. They were part of how I soothed myself. Part of how I got through hard days. Part of how I made the world feel a little less overwhelming.
And even though I’ve grown and expanded my palate, some foods still carry that same sense of safety. In-N-Out is one of them. It’s familiar. It’s dependable. It still brings me comfort in a way that’s hard to explain unless you get it.
That’s why making a copycat version at home feels so special to me. It’s not just about recreating a burger I love. It’s about recreating a feeling. Sometimes, comfort isn’t just food. It’s safety.
Copycat In-N-Out Style Cheeseburger
Because if I’m being honest, some foods never stop being comfort foods.
In-N-Out has been one of my biggest safe foods for years. I t’s familiar, dependable, and always tastes the way I expect it to. There’s something deeply comforting about that. When life feels overstimulating or emotionally heavy, even something as simple as a familiar meal can feel grounding.
So this recipe feels extra special to me. It’s not just about recreating a burger I love—it’s about bringing that same comfort home. It’s about taking something familiar and making it in my own kitchen, while still holding onto the feeling that made it a safe food in the first place.
This is my simple, comforting take on a copycat In-N-Out style cheeseburger, complete with a homemade sauce that gives it that classic flavor.
In-N-Out Burger Copycat Style
Ingredients
For the Burgers
- 1 lb ground beef 80/20 works best
- 4 hamburger buns
- 4 slices American cheese
- 1 small onion thinly sliced
- Lettuce
- Tomato slices
- Pickles optional, if you like them
- Salt to taste
- Black pepper to taste
- Butter or oil for toasting buns
For the Sauce
- ½ cup mayonnaise
- 2 tablespoons ketchup
- 1 tablespoon sweet pickle relish
- 1 teaspoon yellow mustard
- ½ teaspoon white vinegar
- ½ teaspoon sugar
- Pinch of salt
Instructions
- In a small bowl, mix together the mayonnaise, ketchup, pickle relish, mustard, vinegar, sugar, and a pinch of salt. Stir until smooth and creamy. Set aside in the fridge while you prep everything else.
- Wash and dry your lettuce. Slice your tomatoes and onions thin. If you want that classic burger-shop feel, keep everything ready to go before you start cooking.
- Divide the ground beef into 4 equal portions and gently shape them into thin patties. Don’t overwork the meat. Keep them a little wider than the buns since they’ll shrink as they cook.
- Lightly butter the insides of the buns and toast them in a skillet or on a griddle until golden brown. Set aside.
- Heat a skillet or griddle over medium-high heat. Season the patties with salt and pepper right before they hit the pan. Cook for about 2–3 minutes per side, depending on thickness.
- In the last minute of cooking, place a slice of American cheese on each patty and let it melt.
- Spread the sauce on both sides of the toasted bun. Layer with lettuce, tomato, cheeseburger patty, and sliced onions. Add pickles if you want.
Notes
Notes
If you want to make it more like my order, keep it simple and do:
- cheeseburger
- onion only
- extra side of onions
- fries on the side
- ketchup for dipping
Optional: Make It “Animal-Style Inspired”
If you want more of that indulgent, comfort-food feel:
- Grill some extra onions until soft and caramelized
- Add extra sauce
- Add pickles
- Pile it all on for that messy, satisfying burger moment
Serve It My Way
If you really want the full Embrace the Unseen-style experience, here’s the routine:
- Bite of the burger
- French fry dipped in ketchup
- Bite of the extra onion
- Sip of soda
There’s something healing about recreating a safe food at home. For some people, it might just be a burger. But for me, it’s one of those foods that has stayed with me through different phases of life, and that means something.
This recipe may be simple, but the feeling behind it isn’t.
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