More Than a Label: Celebrating the Boy I Love

With his mom’s permission, I’m sharing a little piece of his story because he has taught me more about autism, love, and seeing people for who they are.

Today is my godson’s 8th birthday. And as his godmother and auntie, I’ve had the privilege of watching him grow into one of the most incredible kids I know.

Jokingly, I consider him mine. I’ve been in his life since he was four months old. His mom, my very best friend and sister by choice, has been by my side since we were nine years old.

The moment I met him, something in my heart changed. It was a type of love I had never experienced before. Holding him in my arms for the very first time brought me to tears of pure happiness. In that moment, I realized just how precious life is and how beautiful it can be.

As I’ve continued to watch him grow, he’s taught me so much. One of the biggest lessons he’s taught me is that labels only tell you a tiny fraction of someone’s story.

He’s autistic. Specifically, he’s diagnosed as Level 2 autistic.

I think when people hear “autism,” they sometimes immediately make assumptions. They picture limitations before they picture the person. They think they already know what someone’s life looks like based on a diagnosis.

But my godson is so much more than that.

He’s one of the smartest kids I know.

He’s excelling in school. I remember him starting math at such an early age. I bought him one of those number games, and he picked it up so quickly. He’s always been a fast learner, and now he’s flourishing in math at school. Math just comes naturally to him.

He also loves to read books, play on Snapchat, and use his wild imagination. I’ll never forget the time he took me on an adventure to the planet of Crack Lagoon—a land filled with pirates, ninjas, and space oddities.

I love going on those little adventures with him. His stories just flow so naturally, and seeing the worlds he creates is something I’ll always cherish.

But what I admire most isn’t just how smart he is.

It’s his heart.

He is one of the kindest, most tender souls I’ve ever met.

He cares deeply about the people around him. He has the sweetest laugh that instantly makes everyone else smile. He sees the world in a way that is beautiful and refreshing.

He’s funny. Thoughtful. Loving. And completely himself.

His autism is part of who he is, but it isn’t the whole story.

Like any kid, he has his own challenges too. There are moments when the world can feel overwhelming, where he needs extra support, patience, and understanding.

But that’s another thing he has taught me: a diagnosis doesn’t define what someone can do. It helps us understand how to support them.

And when someone is truly supported, they get the chance to show the world who they’ve always been.

What I’ve Learned About Autism

Looking back, loving him also made me reflect on what I thought I knew about autism.

I’ll be honest—I used to have assumptions too.

I grew up during a time when autism wasn’t talked about very much. I knew what autism was, but I didn’t truly understand how broad the spectrum was or how differently it could look from person to person.

My first real experience with autism was a classmate of mine who was autistic.

I absolutely adored her. She was so kind, incredibly smart, and she never forgot anyone’s birthday. You could tell her once, and she would remember it forever.

That was actually how she introduced herself. She would walk up, put her hand out for a handshake, and ask your name and birthday.

During class, I also saw some of the ways autism showed up for her. She would rock back and forth, flap her hands, move around often, and sometimes experience meltdowns.

At the time, she was my only real experience with autism, so I thought that was what autism looked like.

I didn’t understand yet how broad the spectrum was or that every autistic person has their own strengths, challenges, personality, and support needs.

Getting to know my godson deepened that understanding even more.

Seeing the differences between my classmate’s experience and my godson’s helped me realize there isn’t one single way to be autistic.

And through loving him, I also started learning more about myself.

It wasn’t just noticing the ways his autism showed up. It was recognizing the similarities we shared—the way we process things, the way we experience the world, and the things that felt familiar.

The way he processed things, experienced the world, and navigated certain challenges felt familiar to me. The more I learned about autism, especially how it can present differently in girls and women who have historically been overlooked or misunderstood, the more things started to click.

Through research, reflection, and understanding those similarities, I came to realize that I am autistic too.

My godson didn’t just help me understand autism.

He helped me understand myself.

Loving him has also made me realize how important it is to challenge the assumptions people make about autism.

A Few Myths I’d Love to See Disappear

Myth: Autism is caused by the parents.

This one breaks my heart because I’ve seen the impact it has.

My friend has told me how often she gets asked if she somehow caused her son’s autism. She has received cruel and hurtful comments from people who don’t understand autism.

What I wish more people understood is that autism is not caused by something a parent did or didn’t do. It isn’t caused by parenting, love, or a mother’s choices during pregnancy.

Autism is a neurodevelopmental difference that begins early in life.

Parents don’t cause autism. They love, support, advocate, and celebrate their children for exactly who they are.

I know my friend is always in her son’s corner. She stands up for him when he faces hurtful comments or situations where people don’t take the time to understand him.

She is one of the strongest people I know and would do anything and everything for her son.

He is the light of her life, and she wouldn’t want him any other way than exactly who he is—his beautiful, authentic self.

Myth: Autistic people don’t have empathy or emotions.

This one couldn’t be further from my experience.

My godson has one of the gentlest hearts I’ve ever known.

If he sees someone in pain, he’s right there to comfort them. If he notices you’re feeling down, he does everything he can to make you laugh.

He’s the first one to tell me he loves me in the morning when I stay with them.

He cuddles on his own terms, but when he does, it’s the best feeling in the world.

Myth: Autism defines who someone is.

Autism is one part of a person’s identity. It is not their entire personality.

My godson is a whole person with his own interests, dreams, personality, and strengths.

A diagnosis can help us understand someone, but it will never replace actually getting to know them.

The Biggest Lesson He’s Taught Me

I think one of the greatest lessons my godson has taught me is to stop seeing diagnoses before seeing people.

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with them?”

We should be asking, “Who are they?”

What makes them laugh?

What are they passionate about?

What brings them joy?

What makes them feel safe, loved, and understood?

That’s where you find the person.

Not in a label.

Happy Birthday, Little Man

Today, I don’t just celebrate another birthday.

I celebrate your brilliant mind.

Your endless imagination.

Your contagious laugh.

Your gentle heart.

Your kindness.

The way you make the people around you smile.

Thank you for teaching me one of the most important lessons: to see people for who they truly are.

Happy Birthday, little man aka goober (my first nickname for you when you were a baby).

The world is a better, brighter place because you’re in it.

“To infinity and beyond!” — Toy Story