Feeling Understood: My Transformative ADHD Conference Experience

I felt truly understood during a moment this year. This happened when I attended an ADHD conference. I had never been to a conference before, and I had little idea of what to expect. I was filled with excitement, but also worried about how the weekend would go. Would I be nervous to the point that I would retain any information? Would I just hide out in my hotel room while others were connecting and sharing experiences? I’ve been prone to overthinking every single situation and moment in my life. I always internally psych myself out, and make the situation in my head become a reality. It’s like creating this character. They must play the part, or they are misunderstood. They feel like they are doing a horrible job of keeping up with the script. I felt this way for a long time. Eventually, I chose to break that tough exterior. I opened myself up to an experience that would change my life for the better.

When I first arrived, I was incredibly overwhelmed by the amount of people that were there. Crowds are one of my biggest fears. I feel like I’m constantly trapped with no room around me, and there’s no space in my mind either. I always am looking for an escape plan, where I can just calm down and be alone for a minute. However, I kept trying to tell myself that you are among peers. These individuals want to learn more about mental health and how best to handle their situation. I found some comfort in knowing this, but still my anxiety and over-stimulation had me in a spiral.

The first seminar I attended was hosted by a keynote speaker. I’m sorry I don’t remember his name. However, he displayed such enthusiasm and confidence that I literally felt his energy. It’s rather funny to me. One of the opening lines was, “if you’re too quiet and shy, you’re in the wrong place.” Here, I’m thinking, okay, “what the heck am I doing here then?” However, since I don’t like to gain any attention to myself, I sat there and stuck it out. The longer I sat there, the more I noticed there were many people just like me. They just chose to fully embrace the experience, and this inspired me to do the same.

They had many different seminars on subjects of great interest. However, there was limited time during the day to attend them all. So I went to the one’s that resonated with the most. A seminar about social anxiety was truly eye-opening for me. It explored what it is like to struggle so intently with it. It was like an epiphany for me. I finally felt less alone, and in a room full of people who get it. For me, it gave me such as sense of self and understanding. It enlightened me to embrace what I found as awkwardness into something more positive and authentic. I figured, if I’m going to have social anxiety for my whole life, I should embrace it. I will play with it more clarity and with self-recognition.

What I found to be the most beneficial experience was connecting with people around the hotel. I met so many amazing people who opened up to me and shared their stories and experiences with ADHD. Many of them didn’t even have it. They were there to help their children. Others wanted to learn more for their practice. I generally try avoiding people. I give off little to no eye contact, and a vibe of “I don’t want to be approached.” However, I have a friendly face, and many chose to strike up a conversation. My nerves were extensive, but I opted to enjoy the connection. Hearing what they had to say made me feel so validated in my feelings.

The most valuable lesson I took away was that you can be alone, but you never truly are that way. You are surrounded by a strong and loving community that is just like you. They struggle with many of the same issues. They get uncomfortable and uneasy in similar situations. They are simply trying their best, just like I am. They struggle too with internal self-doubt and negligence. But we all have it in us to learn, improve and embrace our authenticity. A truly magnificent experience that helped me grow into the person I’ve always wanted to be, myself.