Rediscovering Creativity Through Struggles

When the Words Disappeared

There was a time when an unbearable weight of depression landed on my shoulders.  I’m not quite sure what triggered it, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I couldn’t find joy in simple pleasures.  My hobbies and interests quietly fell to the wayside.  And all I could do was sit with my misery.

That heavy fog stayed with me for years.  All I wanted was to be able to write again and get the ache out of my body and onto the page.  But not a single word came.  No journal entries.  No poems.  No scribbled thoughts.  The part of me that had always found meaning through words had gone utterly silent.

It wasn’t that I had nothing to say.  I had too much to say—but the weight of everything I was carrying made it impossible to speak, let alone write.  I began to wonder if I had lost myself entirely.

I’d spend entire days lying in bed with the curtains closed, sobbing underneath my comforter.  By the end of the day, my eyelids were so swollen I could barely lift them.  I just felt trapped in a stillness that felt endless.

I remember trying to pick up a pen.  I’d just sit there, staring at a blank page, quietly begging the words to come.  But my mind was too loud with intrusive thoughts, each one whispering the same cruel lie:

• That I was worthless.
• That I had nothing left to say.
• That even if I tried, it wouldn’t matter.

Not Lazy—Just Surviving

For the longest time, I thought I was lazy, unmotivated, and broken.  That maybe I had wasted my potential.  That maybe I just didn’t care enough to try.  But the truth? I wasn’t any of those things.  I was surviving.

Burnout, depression, and anxiety don’t always show up in the ways you expect. Sometimes they look like quiet withdrawal.  It could be staying in bed all day and still feeling tired.  It could be being surrounded by people and still feeling alone.  

I remember one afternoon, a friend texted me: “You okay? I haven’t heard from you.” It was difficult. I wanted to respond, but the act of typing a few words felt like too much of an effort.

A Small Beginning

Eventually, I hit a point where I was just done.  I was tired of feeling stuck.  Tired of carrying so much pain.  I didn’t know what healing would look like, but I knew I needed help.

So, I reached out.

• I found a therapist.
• I cried through every appointment.
• I started medication—one that didn’t numb me but steadied me.
• I told someone the truth about how I’d been feeling

Healing didn’t come in one big wave.  It came in small, barely visible shifts:  A morning walk with my dog.  A good cup of coffee.  The first smile I didn’t have to fake.

Scribbles That Turned into Stories

One day, I picked up a pen again.  No pressure.  No expectations.  Just intention. First, it was a sentence.  Then a paragraph.  Then an entire page.  The words were messy.  The thoughts were jumbled.  But they were mine.

That day, I tried something new: a freestyle writing session.  No structure. No grammar checks. Just me, pouring everything onto the page.

One moment I was writing about anxiety.  The next, fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.  It made no sense—and that was the point.  The words were flowing again.  And that was the beginning of coming back to myself.

Healing, One Word at a Time

Now, I try to journal regularly.  I write blog posts each week.  I write about food, feelings, identity, and the quiet in-between spaces.

Some days, the words still get stuck.  Some days, I go quiet again.  But I no longer see that as failure.  I’ve learned to trust my rhythms.  Some seasons are for expression.  Others are for stillness and restoration.

Lately, I’ve started using gentle writing prompts when I feel blocked.  They’ve become little doorways back to my creativity.

Reflection Time: Your Turn

Have you ever lost your creative spark? What helped you find your way back to it?

Feel free to share in the comments or message me privately. Your voice matters here. And if you’re still in the silence, please know, you’re not alone.

Gentle Resources & Support

If this post resonated with you, here are a few tools and communities that helped me:

• The Comfort Book by Matt Haig – Gentle reminders for hard days
• The Mighty’s Writing Prompt Hub – Safe, supportive space to write and share
• Waking Up App – For those feeling stuck, disconnected, or in need of a grounded meditation practice

“My dark days made me stronger. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it.”

Emery Lord