Understanding the Freeze Response: Why You Feel Stuck

There are days when I wake up feeling ready to take on the world.  I have a lot of energy, my intentions are clear, and I feel motivated.  I love days like that where my to-do list becomes easy to tackle, and my mind is focused on getting things done.  But then there are days where I wake up feeling sluggish and am not motivated to do anything whatsoever.  My mind is always reiterating to me, “You should be doing more,” but my body tenses and doesn’t move.  

Sure, it’s easy to brush this off as laziness or lack of discipline, but feeling stuck—this complete loss of motivation—often isn’t about willpower at all.  It’s the body’s “freeze” response.  The freeze response is one of the body’s natural survival mechanisms.  Just like the fight or flight.  When your nervous system senses danger (physical or emotional), it can go into a shutdown mode.  It’s like your body literally pauses because it’s trying to protect you.  

A few days ago, I went to a friend’s wedding.  I was in it — which meant an early morning, long hours, and constant social interaction. 

Now, I’m not much of a talker.  I’m very introverted, and socialization requires an enormous amount of focus, masking, and energy.  From the moment I arrived, my brain was on high alert — trying to remember cues, stay pleasant, make small talk, and navigate the noise, lights, and emotions around me.

When it was time to walk down the aisle, I dissociated completely. My body moved, but I wasn’t really there. The ceremony, the photos, the mingling — it all blurred together.

By the time the reception started, I found myself searching for quiet corners just to breathe. But the calm never came. My mask stayed on from sunrise to sundown, until my brain and body couldn’t take it anymore. At the after party, I hit my limit — everything inside me froze. I had to leave.

And the next day, I could barely move.  My body felt heavy, my mind foggy. It was like my nervous system had pulled the plug, leaving me completely drained. That’s when I realized:
I wasn’t lazy or avoiding life. I was in a freeze response.

Being neurodivergent, this response can be triggered by things that others might consider to be small.  

• Overwhelm from too many tasks
• Fear of failure or rejection
• Sensory overload
• Emotional exhaustion

Your brain reads “too much” as unsafe.  And in that moment, stillness feels like the only option.  Freeze doesn’t always look dramatic. It might look like:

• Scrolling aimlessly on your phone
• Avoiding emails or texts
• Staring into space, unable to start
• Feeling detached or numb
• Knowing what you need to do but feeling paralyzed

You can’t force your way out of a freeze state. But you can coax your body back into safety.

Try gentle grounding steps like:

• Start with one sensory cue — hold something warm, listen to soft music, or step outside for fresh air.
• Break the task down — choose one small, concrete action. “Open the laptop.” “Write one sentence.”
• Acknowledge what’s happening — say to yourself, “I’m frozen because I feel unsafe or overwhelmed.” Naming it helps release shame.
• Give your body compassion before productivity — you can’t heal in a state of self-criticism.

Motivation isn’t something you “find.”  It returns naturally when your body feels safe again.  So next time you freeze, try to remember: You’re not behind.  You’re protecting yourself.
And when your nervous system settles, your energy will follow.

Resource to check out: https://www.ashleytreatment.org/rehab-blog/learning-about-stress-responses/

“You’re not lazy — you’re frozen. Your body isn’t giving up; it’s asking for safety.”

Unknown