The BBQ Garlic Ribs Were Great. The Company Was Better.

Summer feels like it’s arrived a little earlier this year. The sun’s out. The scent of jasmine is blooming in the air. There’s kids swimming in the pool, laughing, playing, having fun. And there’s an energy that seems to liven up your soul a little bit.

For me, summer has always brought a little excitement. I have more energy than I normally do, and I find myself spending more time outside, getting together with people, and enjoying the longer days. But perhaps my favorite thing about the season is the food.

Recently, a cousin of mine invited me over for a backyard BBQ with other cousins. A bit of a family reunion of sorts because we rarely get together outside of holidays and some have moved away. So, when I got the invite I was more than happy to go. Especially because my cousin is a top notch cook.

I’m not sure of the recipes she used to make us all a fabulous meal. I need to ask her for them.

We had a wonderful fruit plate with freshly grown peaches, strawberries, grapes, and cherries. And of course, some classic charcuterie. The main course was no ordinary grilled hamburgers and hot dogs. It was a full on feast.

We had a classic salad with oil and vinegar. Grilled corn on the cob fresh out of the husks. Baked beans. Polenta cornbread. But the star was the BBQ garlic ribs. They were sticky, smoky, garlicky, and falling apart with every bite.

I always love getting together with my cousins and sharing a meal together. It was the perfect evening. We watched the NBA Finals and saw the Knicks win. The game was on in the background while conversations drifted from one topic to another. Someone was always getting up for another drink or another helping of food. We sat around talking for so long that I completely lost track of time. I didn’t realize how many hours had passed until I finally looked at my phone.

Looking around the table, it struck me how different the evening felt compared to the way I used to experience family gatherings.

But that evening I was really comfortable. I felt safe, like I had room to take up space. I was laughing without overthinking everything I said.

I’d realized I wasn’t waiting for the right moment to leave. In fact, I stayed long after dinner was over because I genuinely wanted to be there.

Growing up, I always used to be way too nervous and shy around my cousins. I rarely ever talked to them at all because of my quietness. I always thought that they found me awkward or strange, so there was a time when I thought they didn’t like me at all.

But this was just my rejection sensitivity getting the best of me—I had turned a made up situation into a reality.

So, I was the one who stayed behind because of those thoughts. Now, I realize I missed out on years of getting to know great people.

I think they see me differently now. They can see a change in how I’ve grown. They can see that I’m trying to make up for those lost years I spent thinking I was always a problem.

But to be able to open up and be vulnerable and receive acceptance is the most validating feeling.

I think I rather shocked them by how vocal and honest I am. How I feel more comfortable in my own skin and loosen the grip a little bit.

I still get anxious, but I feel more at ease letting my family see the real me.

And turns out they love me for me.

I spent so many years assuming people were judging me when really most of that judgment was coming from myself. Sitting around that table reminded me how much time we can lose when we let fear make decisions for us.

I’m grateful that I showed up. And I’m grateful that I stayed. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that the food was incredible either.

The BBQ garlic ribs were smoky, sticky, garlicky, and the kind of meal that makes you go back for seconds even when you’re already full. Ever since that evening, I’ve been thinking about recreating them at home.

So, while this recipe isn’t my cousin’s exact version, it’s inspired by a meal that reminded me of something important:

Sometimes the best part of gathering around a table isn’t the food.

It’s realizing you belonged there all along.

When was the last time you felt truly comfortable in a space you once thought you didn’t belong in?

“Sometimes the place you were afraid of is the place you were meant to grow into.”-Unknown