Self-Care for When You Don’t Feel Like Yourself

There are days when I don’t necessarily feel sad or upset. I just don’t feel like myself.

It’s hard to explain sometimes. Most of the time, nothing specific has occurred. I just feel a little disconnected. I might be more tired than usual, not want to talk to anyone, or simply not feel interested in the things I normally enjoy.

When I’m like that, my first instinct is to try and figure out how to fix it. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself and think that I should be doing something productive, like getting out of the house, cleaning, writing, or reading. Things that I shouldn’t feel guilty about.

But when self-care becomes another list of things I’m supposed to do, it doesn’t really feel like self-care anymore. Sometimes, I just need to admit that I’m having an off day.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot of disconnect. My mind feels like it’s somewhere else, far away from reality. It’s not necessarily that I’m drifting off into a daydream. It’s more like I’m sinking into certain thoughts. Thoughts that particularly trouble me. And when that happens, it’s hard to find a way back to myself.

I think a lot of that has to do with loneliness. I haven’t been going out very much, and I’ve just been so reclusive that it’s hard for me to even speak around people because I’ve been in silence for too long.

Even though I have an upcoming trip with friends, I still feel lonely and isolated. I’m the only person I know who is alone in every sense of the word. That’s a hard feeling to sit with.

But I’m trying not to let those thoughts and feelings about myself turn into something I’ll regret. I don’t want to be so hard on myself. I just want inner peace.

Going Back to the Little Things

When I don’t feel like myself, I tend to go back to the things that feel familiar. My favorite foods, a comfort show, music I love, comfy clothes, writing, or sitting somewhere quiet. Nothing exciting. That’s kind of the point.

One comfort I always turn to is music. Music captures my soul and allows me to escape into a lyrical dream. For me, I particularly love listening to Linkin Park. I honestly put their albums on repeat, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. It’s a comfort I always go to when I need to feel held.

Their music resonates with me so much. I literally feel every word, every note, every melody. It soothes me in a way that feels almost therapeutic. Sometimes I think we underestimate how much those little pieces of our lives matter. They can bring us back to something familiar when everything else feels a little off.

Asking Myself What I Actually Need

I’ve been trying to get better at asking myself what I actually need instead of what I think I should need.

Sometimes I need to be alone. Sometimes I need to get out of the house. Sometimes I need to talk to someone. Sometimes I just need to rest. I don’t think self-care is supposed to look the same every day. What I need when I’m lonely might be completely different from what I need when I’m overwhelmed or exhausted.

There was a day recently when I had been sitting at home for hours, caught up in my own thoughts. I almost talked myself into staying there for the rest of the day, but instead, I got dressed and went outside for a little while. I didn’t do anything exciting or life-changing. I just needed to get out of my own head.

It didn’t magically make everything better, but when I came back home, I felt a little different. Sometimes changing my surroundings is enough to interrupt whatever has been going on in my head.

I’m still having days where I don’t feel like myself. I still get lonely. I still get caught up in thoughts that are difficult to pull myself away from.

I’m just trying to give myself a little more room to have those days without immediately feeling like I need to fix them.

Maybe that’s where I am right now. Just trying to find my way back to myself, one little thing at a time.

What is one small thing that helps you feel like yourself again?

“Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.”— André Gide