Arrivederci, For Now

Before I go, I wanted to leave a little note here.

I have a bunch of different mixed emotions right now. I’m excited, I’m still in shock that I’m going, and quite frankly, I’m a little nervous about it all.

I’m worried about the long travel days and how I’m going to handle being on a long flight followed by another one just to get to my first destination. Personally, I’ve never been good with long travel. I have a tendency to jump ahead of myself and sink into anticipation anxiety. I’ll look at the screen every few minutes to see just how much farther we have to go, and it’s constant. The only way I can usually get through it all is by sleeping, and that’s hard to do when you’re sitting in one position for too long.

I know, I’m complaining, but my brain isn’t wired with too much patience. I’ve been known to have meltdowns due to overstimulation and utter exhaustion. Sometimes I can be loud, cry hysterically, and become increasingly infuriated when everything becomes too much. That’s why I’m going a little bit more prepared than I have other times. I’m bringing my new fidget toy, a roll-up pillow and blanket, an eye mask, comfy clothes, and of course, noise-canceling earbuds. I think I’m probably overthinking everything, and maybe things won’t go as badly as I’m expecting. Who knows? Maybe I’ll end up having fun. It’s just hard when your mind wanders and dwells on the negatives so much.

But the major plus side? I get to be in Europe.

I’m going to Romania. Then I’m off to Italy.

I just can’t believe how fast time has gone by. The reason for this trip is because my best friend is getting married. She got engaged at the end of last year, and now the time is here to go. It feels like just yesterday we were celebrating her engagement party in February. Time truly boggles my mind.

And I think that’s part of what makes this trip feel so surreal. I’ve spent so much of this year writing about uncertainty, waiting for things, and learning to let life unfold without always knowing exactly what’s going to happen. Now, I suppose I’m getting a chance to practice some of that myself.

Romania First

The first part of this trip is taking me to Romania for the wedding, and I’m particularly excited about getting to experience Transylvania and Sighișoara. There’s something surreal about actually being able to visit places that have always existed in my imagination as something far away. I know I’ll probably have one of those moments where I stop and think, I’m actually here.

I’m honestly looking forward to the countryside of Romania more than the cities. Populated areas that are unfamiliar make me really anxious, and I’m not going to lie, Bucharest seems intimidating. But I’ll be there with my best friends, so it can’t be too bad, right?

I truly am looking forward to the architecture, the history, the food, and just walking around somewhere completely unfamiliar. It’s exciting being somewhere new, even when you’re nervous. I know that once I’m there, I’ll probably have a moment where I can finally relax. I think that’s part of the point of going somewhere new—to allow yourself to take it all in instead of immediately comparing it to home.

And then, after Romania, I’m heading to Italy, which honestly feels very appropriate for me considering how much I love Italian food.

A Little Time in Italy

I’ll be spending time in Panicale and taking some day trips to places like Florence, Pisa, and Siena before eventually making my way back to Rome. I’m looking forward to seeing beautiful places, of course, but I think I’m equally excited about the little things: sitting down for a meal, walking through a small town, finding a little café, looking at buildings that are older than anything I see in my everyday life, going into a grocery store and seeing what people buy, and trying foods I’ve never had before.

Those are the things I tend to remember.

I’ve always loved food, but I think traveling makes you appreciate it in a different way. Food becomes part of the experience of where you are. It tells you something about a place and the people who live there. There’s something special about sitting down to eat something that’s part of another culture and knowing that, for that moment, you’re experiencing a very small part of someone else’s everyday life.

And knowing me, I’ll probably come home with approximately a million thoughts about food.

I Don’t Know What This Trip Will Become

One thing I’ve been thinking about is how impossible it is to know what an experience will mean to you before you actually live it. I can make an itinerary. I can look at pictures. I can research restaurants. I can make lists. I can try to prepare myself for every possible scenario. But I don’t actually know what this trip is going to feel like until I’m there.

I don’t know what moments I’ll remember most. I don’t know what will surprise me. I don’t know what might go wrong. I don’t know what little place I’ll fall in love with. I don’t know what I’ll come home thinking about. And maybe that’s okay.

I’ve written quite a bit lately about uncertainty and how difficult it can be for me to sit with the unknown. I like having answers. I like knowing where things are going. I like having some idea of what I can expect. But sometimes you have to stop trying to figure everything out before it happens. Sometimes you just have to go.

So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go, experience it, take pictures, eat good food, and probably get tired and overwhelmed at some point. I’m going to get lost in places I’ve never been before and see things I’ve waited a long time to see. I’m going to let the trip be whatever it ends up being instead of trying to decide ahead of time what it’s supposed to mean.

Maybe it will be everything I imagined. Maybe it won’t. Maybe there will be moments where I’m completely overwhelmed and ready to be back home. Maybe there will be moments where I don’t want to leave. I’m sure there will be a little bit of everything.

And honestly, I think I’m okay with that.

Arrivederci, For Now

So, this is my little goodbye before I go. Not really goodbye, though. More like arrivederci.

I’ll be stepping away from Embrace the Unseen for a few weeks while I go experience something I’ve been looking forward to for a very long time. I’ll miss writing here while I’m gone, but I also think there’s something nice about stepping away for a little while and simply being present somewhere else.

I’ve spent so much time thinking about this trip, talking about this trip, planning this trip, and probably worrying about this trip more than I needed to. Now it’s finally time to stop thinking about it and actually experience it.

And when I come back, I’ll have stories. I’ll have pictures. I’ll probably have opinions about airports. I’ll definitely have opinions about food. And I’m sure I’ll have a lot to say about Romania and Italy.

Maybe I’ll come home feeling exactly the same. Maybe I’ll come home feeling a little different. Maybe there will be something I see, someone I meet, something I eat, or some random little moment that stays with me long after I’m home. I don’t know, and for once, I’m going to try to let that be enough.

So, until I return, take care of yourselves. Eat something good. Go somewhere you’ve never been if you can. Sit outside for a little while. Notice the small things. And don’t be so hard on yourself for not having everything figured out yet.

Life doesn’t always happen according to the timeline we imagined for ourselves. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes it looks completely different. And sometimes, after all the waiting, planning, worrying, and wondering, you finally reach the moment where you just have to step through the door and see what’s on the other side.

That’s where I am now.

I’m stepping through.

Arrivederci, for now. 🤍

I’ll see you when I get back.

Listen to the podcast episode here:

What would you do if you stopped worrying about what might go wrong and simply allowed yourself to experience what happens?

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”— Lao Tzu