I tend to react to things more strongly than I expect to. It might be something someone says, a situation that doesn’t go the way I envisioned, or something that brings up feelings I wasn’t expecting. I can go from feeling fine to feeling upset or frustrated in an instant. I’m often left wondering why something affected me so much.

I remember when I worked in the food industry, my coworkers used to call me Cinderella because I was often the one washing dishes in the back of the house. I actually enjoyed working in the back because I didn’t have to deal with customers. I could be alone and concentrate on the task at hand without feeling overwhelmed by people.

But being called Cinderella bothered me. There was something about the comparison that felt insulting, like they had a certain idea of who I was and what I was capable of. I felt like they were making assumptions about me instead of seeing me for who I actually was. I didn’t know how to explain why it bothered me so much, so I just kept it to myself.

I swallowed my feelings and didn’t say anything about how uncomfortable the comparison made me. I just let it go. At least, I thought I had. But years later, when someone made the same comparison for a completely different reason, I found myself getting upset all over again.

I was in Italy with my best friend, and we spent one night in Florence. We were getting ready for bed and chatting when another friend texted her, saying I was just like Cinderella. This time, the comparison had to do with my love life, and it hit a nerve. I didn’t take it well at all.

My best friend thought I would take it as a joke. She genuinely thought it was funny, but I was immediately upset and reacted with anger and tears. I went from zero to a hundred. I yelled and told her it wasn’t a joke to me and that it hurt. At first, she didn’t seem to understand why I was reacting that way, but eventually, she began to see my side of things after I’d calmed down enough to explain why it was such a sensitive subject.

I think part of what upset me was that I’d heard the same comparison years before, and it had bothered me then, too. Even though the situations were different, it brought back that feeling of being misunderstood and of people making assumptions about me. I started thinking about what people might believe about me and how they saw my life. I don’t know why my mind went in that direction, but I got stuck on the idea and couldn’t seem to let it go.

I know the comment wasn’t intentionally meant to hurt me. It was meant as a joke, but in that moment, it wasn’t funny to me at all.

I ended up going outside to get some fresh air and cool off. I kept crying and was still really upset. I’d caused quite a scene, and my friend just couldn’t understand why. Looking back, I wish I’d handled the situation differently, but at the time, I was having a hard time controlling my emotions.

That’s the thing. I don’t always know what will trigger me or what seemingly small thing will set me off. And I mean the smallest things. Someone could ask me, “What’s wrong?” and it could ruin my whole day. I don’t know why that question irritates me so much, especially when nothing is actually wrong to begin with, but sometimes it does.

Truthfully, I’m really hard on myself about how I react. I usually end up feeling embarrassed and ashamed when I think about making such a big scene over something that might seem small to someone else. I replay the situation in my head and wonder why I reacted that way. But I can’t always talk myself out of being upset just because I think I should be over it.

I need time to process things before I can explain how I’m really feeling. If I try to work through everything in the moment, especially when I’m already emotional, it’s harder for me to make sense of it all.

I wish certain things didn’t get to me so much, and I wish I didn’t spend so much time afterward thinking about what happened and feeling embarrassed. I know I can’t change how I felt in those moments, even if I wish I’d handled them differently. I’m still trying to understand myself and why some things bother me more than others.

I don’t think I’ll ever really get an answer as to why I react the way I do. It’s just something that’s a part of who I am. I’m sensitive, and words, gestures, and certain expressions really get to me.

I’ve been trying to accept that part of myself and embrace it. Sensitivity shouldn’t be anything to be ashamed of. At least that’s what I’m learning. It’s hard to change something that’s already wired in your brain, but I can learn from these experiences and try to improve how I respond to people. It’s a live-and-learn situation, and I’m just figuring it out as I go.

I’m still learning how to handle these feelings, and hopefully, I’ll get a little better at it with time.

What is something that has affected you more deeply than you expected, and how did you handle it?

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”— Carl Rogers