Redefining Rest: Embracing Guilt-Free Relaxation

I always used to think that rest was something that had to earned.  If I wasn’t productive enough in my daily life, then I didn’t I deserved to slow down and rest.

I felt like I had to keep up with everyone else, and that alone caused me to burnout rapidly. I just had to prove my worth so I could justify taking a break. 

There have been moments where I feel drained from a long day. Most of the time, I feel like I need to keep being productive. But it takes so much more energy, focus, and willpower.

I see now that avoiding rest was essentially me just avoiding the shame and guilt that came along with it. The shame of being “too lazy,” “too much,” or “falling behind.” These labels have followed me around since childhood.

Long before I knew that I was neurodivergent.

I learned early on that being quiet, tired, or sensitive wasn’t acceptable.  So, I masked.  I became the overachiever, the reliable one, the helper.  I worked harder to make up for what I thought was “wrong” with me.  

I working until I reached burnout, and my mind and body were yelling at me to slow down and stop. But foolishly, I kept going.

People often praise me for being dependable and dedicated to helping others. I believe those traits about myself, but it’s hard to accept because deep down, I’m unraveling. It goes to show that I wear my mask very well.

When I was finally diagnosed, everything began to click.  

My burnout was no longer a mystery, it was rather a consequence. It was one of hiding and masking. It stemmed from trying to function in a world that moves too quickly, too loudly, and too demandingly.

That’s when I started to redefine rest, and what it means to me. 

Resting isn’t about lying in bed all day watching TV. It’s about giving yourself permission to simply exist, without shame or guilt.  It’s about stepping away from the noise and just be. 

It’s difficult for me to rest most of time because I feel the need to justify it.  I feel the need to explain myself, and I shouldn’t have to do that.  I feel like I have to keep going, much like the energizer bunny. However, rest is a necessity—not a reward. 

I remind myself that this shame I feel doesn’t belong to me.  It comes from a world that measures our value be being productive, and how perfectly we perform at it. So, in those moments, I take a deeper breath. I tell myself that I’m not the burden I think that I am.  I’m just a person who requires softness, space, and time.  

Because the more that I rest, the more that I feel like my authentic self. 

As a neurodivergent woman, rest isn’t just necessary—it’s a sacred time.  It’s how I protect my peace. It’s how I reconnect and learn to appreciate the little moments of joy. 

I know now that I don’t have to prove my sadness or pain.  I’m allowed to pause and be exactly as I am, letting that mask down and all.  

*If this resonates with you, share it with someone who needs the reminder.  Feel free to leave a comment.  How are you redefining rest in your life? 

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day… is by no means a waste of time.”

John Lubbock