Comfort Food, Complicated Feelings

I’ve always had a rather complicated relationship with food.  It’s my escape, my reward, my comfort, and more often than not, my guilt.  I eat when I’m sad, when I’m overwhelmed, when I’m bored, or just feeling disconnected from myself.  I also have the tendency to go without eating.  It can be too much when the weight of depression silences my hunger. 

Somewhere along the line, food became emotionally exhausting.  I wrestled over not just what I ate, but how I ate it.  And why.  

I often use food to regulate my emotions.  It’s the one thing I can rely on to bring me back to myself when everything feels too much.  When I have moments of sensory overload, I crave something that will make me feel whole and comforted. 

My new favorite go-to comfort meal is Pastina soup.  My friend introduced me to this recipe, and I absolutely fell in love with it from the moment it hit my tastebuds.  The aromas, the flavors, the warmth, the joy, it was everything I needed and more. 

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Transforming Self-Criticism into Self-Love

But the complicated part is that even though food offers me comfort, it also brings shame.  I’ve judged myself for turning to snacks when I’m stressed out.  I consistently tell myself that I should have more willpower, but I spiral into guilt after eating something simply because I wanted it.  Most of the time, it’s a never-ending cycle of both joy and shame. 

The comfort of a meal is real to me though.  It relieves and soothes my soul when I feel fragile and unsteady.  So, I don’t know exactly why I feel so shamed by it. 

I’ve realized that healing my relationship with food means that it’s not a measure of discipline or worth.  It’s about feeling my emotions without judgement.  I can have something hearty, greasy, and sweet on a tough day without self-criticism.  I can make comfort foods that soothe me, instead of punishing my need for it in the first place. 

Now, I have this delightful recipe to savor and hold me tightly when I need comforting.  It’s warm, easy, and perfectly delicious and satisfying in every way.

Italian Pastina Soup

Hearty and delicious comfort meal.

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Servings: 4 people

Course: Soup

Cuisine: American, Italian

Ingredients Method Notes

Ingredients

  

• 1 cup pastina pasta any really small pasta will do
• olive oil
• 1 brown onion roughly chopped
• 3 carrots peeled and roughly chopped
• 2 celery stocks roughly chopped
• 1 lemon for topping; cut into wedges
• 4 garlic cloves roughly chopped
• 6 cups chicken broth or stock
• 1 tsp Better than Buillon chicken base or 1 chicken bouillon cube
• parmigiano reggiano grated; save the rind
• salt and pepper
• parsley for topping; optional

Method

 

1. Roughly chop the onion, carrots, celery and garlic cloves.  Heat a large pot over medium-high heat with olive oil (or butter).  Add the vegetables, salt, and pepper into the pot and sauté until slightly tender.  
2. Add the chicken broth, bouillon base, salt and pepper to taste, then place the lid on and simmer for approximately 20 minutes.  **Add the Parmesan rind for more depth of flavor then remove it after simmering. 
3. Strain out the vegetables through a slotted spoon or colander.  
4. Add the cooked vegetables to a blender or food processor with ½ cup of water and blend until smooth.  
5. Pour the blended vegetables back into the pot with the chicken broth and stir through.  Taste for seasoning.  
6. Cook pastina separately from the soup and follow the package instructions.  Then add it to the soup
7. Serve in bowls.  Add a squeeze of lemon to each bowl, along with the Parmesan cheese.  Add a drizzle of olive oil and enjoy your soup. 

Notes

You can cook the pastina in the soup, but it takes a bit longer.  I find that cooking it separately works best.

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