Listening to Your Nervous System for Better Care

Self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all checklist. It looks different from person to person. Some people enjoy physical activities such as yoga or hiking for their self-care needs. Other people might opt for a quieter environment filled with soft lighting and relaxing music. Personally, I practice self-care in a way that suits my unique needs.

For me, living in a neurodivergent body and soul, self-care looks personal and protective. It’s less about following societal “rules” for self-care and more about creating safety, joy, and balance. Neurotypical self-care can be similar—rest, relaxation, hobbies—but neurodivergent self-care is often more sensory and emotional.

Listening to My Nervous System

Some days, my brain feels like static. I’m overwhelmed, stressed out, nervous, and emotional. On those days, self-care means really listening to my body and noticing when my mind is overwhelmed.

Sometimes I’ll unplug completely—my phone, my TV, my computer—and bask in silence. I’ll lie in bed, get cozy underneath the covers, and let my mind rest and wind down. I used to see this as laziness because it looked like I was literally doing nothing with my time. But now, I don’t judge myself for it because I know I’m doing what’s best for me.

I trust that my nervous system will guide me in the right direction. I’ve learned to listen to it now instead of ignoring it. And learning to do that has been one of the most radical forms of self-care I’ve practiced.

Flexible Routines That Support Me

My morning routine is simple. I’ll wake up, make myself a cup of coffee, and just sit in silence for a few minutes. No phone, no distractions—just peace and quiet.

Lately, I’ve been using a meditative app that I listen to for just five minutes. I’ve noticed a slight change in my mood since using it, and I find it to be profoundly beneficial. Waking Up App or Calm

I try not to hold myself to a strict routine. I feel too much pressure to keep up, and sometimes routines can be too rigid and unforgiving. So, I generally have a “go with the flow” attitude. I meet my needs in the moment rather than structuring and planning them out.

Sensory Comfort as Care

I’ve noticed just how much my environment affects me. Sometimes I experience intense sensory overload, and when that occurs, I need comfort items to help calm my nervous system.

If I’m out in public, I carry around a fidget tool. It helps me during stressful or uncertain moments when I feel the need to stim through my anxiety. I’ve also found deep comfort in using a weighted blanket. It helps me feel secure—like a caterpillar warm in its cocoon, patiently waiting to emerge into something beautiful and revitalized. These items have helped me tremendously during times of overwhelm.

Boundaries Are Non-Negotiable

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that saying no is self-care. I’m a people-pleaser by nature, and it’s innate for me to put others’ needs before my own. This has been a tough challenge for me because I’m so used to saying yes to everything. But I know just how essential it is to love and care for myself first.

I’m learning that respecting my energy allows me to show up more fully where it matters, instead of stretching myself so thin that nothing feels safe.

Absorbing Activities

Self-care is also about getting lost in things that bring me joy. My favorite grounding hobbies include writing, reading, cooking, or watching a comfort movie. These activities make me happy and provide me with care during tough times.

My favorite activity, though, would have to be taking a nice long bubble bath. Personally, I don’t have a tub, but whenever I go on vacation, I make sure my room has one. To me, there’s nothing better than getting into a hot bath. I light some scented candles, put on mood music, and slip into deep relaxation. Add in a massage, and I’m good as new.

Acceptance

For a neurodivergent mind, self-care is deeply personal. It’s about listening to and honoring your needs and creating moments of joy and safety. My self-care might look quiet, almost like it’s nothing, but it’s saved me more times than I can count.

What does self-care look like for you?

“Self-care is how you take your power back.” — Lalah Delia