ADHD Awareness Month: What People Don’t Always See

Since October has begun, and it’s ADHD Awareness Month, I thought I’d take a little time to write about something that’s become such a big part of understanding myself.

For most of my life, I never really understood my brain very well.

I knew that I struggled with certain things. Starting tasks. Staying focused on things that didn’t interest me. Getting overwhelmed by too many things happening at once. Forgetting why I walked into a room. Losing track of time. Getting completely absorbed in something I loved and then wondering where the day went.

I knew that I could be motivated one day and completely unable to get myself to do something the next. But I never understood why that happened.

I didn’t get diagnosed with ADHD until my mid-thirties. Before that, I spent a lot of time wondering why simple things seemed so much harder for me to do than they were for other people.

Getting my diagnosis and attending an ADHD conference gave me a different way of looking at a lot of those things. For the first time, I felt understood. I felt like I wasn’t alone in the way my brain worked or in the things I struggled with.

And honestly, there was something so validating about realizing that some of the things I’d spent years criticizing myself for weren’t simply because I was lazy, irresponsible, forgetful, or not trying hard enough.

I also want to reiterate that ADHD is so much more than being distracted or having trouble sitting still.

It can affect executive functioning, motivation, time, memory, emotions, organization, transitions, and so many of the little things that happen in everyday life.

And it looks different from person to person.

Some people are outwardly hyperactive. Others have spent years learning how to mask what they’re experiencing.

And for a lot of people, ADHD comes with a whole lot of misunderstanding.

Things like:

“You’re lazy.”

“You’re not trying hard enough.”

“You’re too emotional.”

“You’re capable, so why can’t you just do it?”

I’ve heard versions of those messages throughout my life, including from myself.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that understanding my brain doesn’t mean making excuses for myself. It means learning what I actually need in order to function, instead of constantly criticizing myself for not functioning the way I thought I was supposed to.

ADHD Awareness Month isn’t just about talking about the diagnosis. It’s about making room for the experiences that don’t always get seen.

• The unfinished tasks.
• The forgotten things.
• The hyperfocus.
• The overwhelm.
• The emotional intensity.
• The things we start and don’t finish.
• The things we desperately want to do but can’t seem to begin.
• The days when everything feels easy and the days when everything feels harder than it should.

There’s a lot more to ADHD than what people see from the outside.

For me, it’s still a learning process. I’m still figuring out what it means for me and what actually works for my brain. But having the words for it has made a difference.

And that’s why I want to talk more about ADHD this month.

Because awareness isn’t just knowing what ADHD looks like. It’s also understanding that there can be a lot happening underneath the surface that other people never see.

Happy ADHD Awareness Month.

What is one thing you understand about yourself now that you didn’t understand before your ADHD diagnosis?

“ADHD is not a deficit of attention, but a difficulty regulating attention.”— Russell A. Barkley