Creating a Unique Routine That Works for You
I used to beat myself up for not being able to stick to a routine. I loved buying planners, but they were left abandoned. Every morning ritual I tried lasted for a maybe a week. Every time I looked, I’d scroll past someone’s color coded schedule, and I’d feel a pang of guilt. I was envious because I wanted to be neatly organized like that.
It’s not because I lack discipline. It’s because my brain doesn’t thrive in rigid systems. It thrives in flexibility, skill, and rhythmic flow.
Traditional Routines Don’t Always Work
If you’re like me, the idea of repetition every single day can feel suffocating. Doing the exact same thing at the exact same time can be overwhelming. I believe our neurodivergent brains crave novelty, freedom, and independence.
When routines feel too strict or repetitive, I interpret that as confinement. If you throw in executive dysfunction, time blindness, sensory sensitivities, or burnout, and suddenly even the simplest routine becomes a mountain to climb.
I start thinking to myself, “Why can’t I keep it together?” or “Why can’t I manage things like everyone else?” But the truth is that I’m not meant to operate like everybody else.
Structure Isn’t the Problem
I’ve always admired having structure and a set routine. I’ve longed for it but have never been able to obtain it. I’ve decided not to create a strict schedule for myself. Instead, I’ve begun to incorporate small and meaningful practices. These practices ground me without boxing me in.
These are a few that work for me:
- Morning: Sitting in silence with coffee before checking my phone.
- Midday: Stepping outside to breathe in the fresh air and taking my dog out for a nice walk.
- Evening: Lighting candles and listening to some music.
It doesn’t always happen in that order. Some days, they don’t happen at all. But they’re there, and that’s enough.
Redefining Routine
The mindset shift that changed everything for me was knowing that a routine doesn’t have to be firm. It just needs to be real. I’ve stopped trying to fit into someone else’s mold. Instead, I’m tuning into my natural rhythms.
When nothing goes according to plan, I try not to be so hard on myself, and irritable. I remind myself that it doesn’t mean I failed, it means that I tried—and that’s enough in my book.
For so long, I thought I was just lazy, undisciplined, and just wired differently. But I know now that I’m actually not. My structure looks different. My days move in waves, but I’m building a life that honors my mind, not exhausts it.
“Structure should support you, not suffocate you.”
Unknown
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One Comment
moragnoffke
Yes I am the same… Planners look so enticing but not good for me.
I have multiple options that I instinctively choose from… So long as I make time for myself each day 😊