Nourishment in the Hard Moments
There are times when I don’t have the energy to think, let alone cook. When depression hits, it hits hard. The smallest tasks feel like mountains to climb. The days blur together. I feel sluggish, unmotivated, and disconnected from everything around me. It’s a numbness that’s hard to explain.
Most of the time I turn to food during hard times. I always seek comfort in the familiar rhythm of meals. Each bite helps to fill the void of loneliness and despair. It becomes a small anchor when everything feels like it’s drifting away.
But lately, that pattern has shifted in a way that I didn’t expect.
When I forget to eat
These days, my hobbies and interests have been consuming me. I get so hyper focused that I lose track time completely. Hours pass, and suddenly I realize that I haven’t eaten all day. It’s not that I wasn’t hungry. I just simply forgot.
I experience hypomania, and when I’m swept up in a distraction, I disappear into it entirely.
This is unfamiliar territory for me. In the past, I coped with depression by eating more. Now I’m doing the complete opposite. I know that both behaviors stem from the same internal ache, but they’re showing up in different ways.
The Struggle to Nourish
I know that my body needs nourishment to function. However, when I feel depleted of energy, it’s really hard to care. Climbing out of the hole I’ve continually buried myself in feels nearly impossible. It is especially difficult when I don’t have the strength to find the ladder.
I’ve been trying to be more mindful and eat when I should. But honestly? It’s hard. And the most painful part of not eating…is just that—not eating.
A Love for Food
I love food. I love to cook. It’s one of my greatest passions—something that has always felt like home. It runs deep in my Italian blood. It’s innate.
Cooking is how I express love and care. So, when I don’t have the strength to make something for myself, it feels like I’m losing touch with my identity.
But last Sunday, I chose to do one small thing.
A Bowl of Comfort
I made something simple: a creamy white chicken chili.
It might sound difficult or complicated, but it’s actually super easy. The slow cooker is a game changer, and it has become a companion of mine. All I have to do is toss in a few ingredients, press a button, and go rest.
And that chili? It was more than just dinner. It was warmth, comfort, and nourishment. A reminder that I’m still capable of caring for myself, even when I feel like I’m falling apart.
On days when I don’t have much to give, meals like this feel like an act of self-compassion. Food is love. And on the hardest days, it’s a reminder that we still deserve both.
Creamy White Chicken Chili
Ingredients
Equipment
Method
- Place the chicken breasts in the slow cooker.
- Add beans, corn, green chiles, onion, spices, and broth.
- Stir gently to combine, then place cream cheese on top (no need to stir it in yet).
- Cover and cook on low for 6–7 hours or high for 3–4 hours.
- Once cooked, remove chicken, shred with two forks, and return it to the pot.
- Stir everything together until the cream cheese is fully melted and incorporated.
Notes
- Optional toppings: shredded cheese, avocado, lime, cilantro, tortilla strips[ss_social_share align=”left” shape=”rounded” size=”small” labels=”label” spacing=”1″ hide_on_mobile=”0″ total=”0″ all_networks=”1″]
“Sometimes the smallest act of care is the loudest form of love.”
Unknown
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