Learning to Say Yes to Myself and My Life

Lately, I feel like I’ve been in my self-transformation era.

Not that I’m becoming someone new, but more like I’m finally stepping into my own. For too long, I’ve held myself back from doing things because of fear, anxiety, criticism, rejection, judgment—you name it. It hasn’t only been a hindrance in my life; it’s also been a nuisance.

I’ve spent a lot of time talking myself out of things before I even gave them a chance. Sometimes I’ve decided I couldn’t handle something before I even knew what it would feel like to try. But what I’ve been realizing is that maybe I can handle more than I’ve given myself credit for.

I want to be more open-minded and willing to let things in instead of automatically pushing them away because some part of me has already decided they’re too much. I want to move forward instead of staying stuck in this parallel universe I’ve created in my head, where I’m constantly thinking about what could go wrong, what people might think, or why I probably shouldn’t do something.

I don’t want to live there anymore.

I’ve been thinking about the little things I want more of in my life. The things that make me feel like myself. The things I sometimes talk myself out of because they don’t seem important enough.

So lately, I’m saying yes—not only to new things, but to myself.

And I don’t mean saying yes to everything or suddenly becoming fearless. I mean saying yes to the parts of life I’ve sometimes talked myself out of enjoying. I want to give myself permission to experience things, enjoy things, create things, rest, and leave a little room for the things I can’t plan.

Saying Yes to Going Somewhere

I’m saying yes to getting out of my usual routine. I have a trip coming up, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t wait to get out of the country, go on vacation with friends, and spend time exploring and basking in the glory of all that is Europe.

I want to wander around places I’ve never been, eat good food, take pictures, see beautiful things, and have those moments where I stop and think, I’m actually here.

I love having something to look forward to, and I think I need that right now. Sometimes you just need to get out of your everyday surroundings and remember that there’s a really big world outside of your usual routine.

For me, saying yes to going somewhere is also saying yes to experiencing something instead of letting my fear decide for me.

Saying Yes to Good Food

I’m also saying yes to eating the things I actually like. Give me all of the pasta and I’m happy. Give me strawberries, watermelon, or a really good salad in the summer and I’m happy. Give me pot roast and mashed potatoes when the weather gets cooler and I’m definitely happy.

I’ve always loved food, but I think I’ve also spent a lot of time thinking about food in terms of what I should eat. Lately, I just want to enjoy it. I want to make something because it sounds good, sit down and actually taste it, and let food be comforting and fun.

Sometimes dinner can just be dinner. It doesn’t have to be another thing I overthink.

Saying Yes to Writing Whatever I Want

I’m saying yes to writing the random thoughts that show up in my head. The blog post idea that doesn’t fit neatly into a category, the little observation I can’t stop thinking about, or the personal story that probably isn’t going to change anyone’s life but means something to me.

I want to write the poems, the newsletters, the blog posts, and the podcast episodes where I basically talk to myself until I figure out what I’m trying to say.

I don’t want everything I create to have to be important or become some bigger project. Sometimes I just want to make something because I enjoy making it. Writing has always been one of the ways I make sense of myself, and I don’t want to lose that by worrying too much about whether something is good enough, useful enough, or important enough.

Sometimes I just want to write.

Saying Yes to Quiet

I’m saying yes to staying home and not feeling like I always need somewhere to go or something to do. I don’t always need to fill up my calendar. I want more quiet mornings, peach tea, sitting around in comfortable clothes, having the fan on when it’s too hot, turning down the lights, and having evenings where I don’t accomplish anything particularly impressive.

I don’t think I’ve ever been particularly good at treating rest like something that is allowed. There’s always something else I could be doing—something I could clean, something I could write, something I could organize, something I could worry about.

But I’m learning that I don’t have to fill every quiet moment. Sometimes staying home is exactly where I want to be. Sometimes doing less is exactly what I need.

Saying Yes to the Things I Don’t Have Planned

This might be the biggest one.

I’m saying yes to leaving a little room for things I don’t know about yet. A new place, a good conversation, a song I haven’t heard, a book I haven’t discovered, a meal I haven’t tried, a person I haven’t met, or an opportunity I didn’t see coming.

I spend a lot of time thinking about what’s next. Sometimes too much time. I think about what could happen, what I should do, where I should be, and whether I’m making the right decisions. So I’m trying to leave some room for life to surprise me.

I don’t need to know exactly where everything is going. I don’t need a perfect plan, and I don’t need to have every possibility figured out before I take the first step.

I think that’s what this whole idea of saying yes really comes down to for me. It’s not about saying yes to everything or forcing myself to do things that don’t feel right. It’s about being a little more open to the things that make me feel like myself instead of immediately finding a reason not to.

Travel. Writing. Good food. Quiet. Books. Little moments.

The things I already know I love.

Maybe saying yes to your life doesn’t mean making some huge, dramatic change. Maybe sometimes it just means letting yourself enjoy the things you already know you love and giving yourself permission to see what happens when you stop getting in your own way.

I don’t know exactly where all of this will lead.

But I’m curious to find out.

What could you say yes to right now?

“Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect.”— Alan Cohen