The Self-Care Practices That Actually Help My AuDHD Brain

Lately, I’ve been trying to get into a better self-care routine.

I’ve been a little behind in taking care of myself the way that I should. I’ve been too caught up in everyday responsibilities and the common distractions of life that it’s become harder to focus on what I actually need.

But I’ve also realized that part of caring for myself is understanding what I actually need—not what I think I’m supposed to need.

For a long time, I thought self-care had to look a certain way. I thought it meant following a specific routine, creating the perfect habits, or doing the things that seemed to work for everyone else.

But over time, I’ve learned that self-care looks different for all of us, especially when you have a neurodivergent brain.

A routine isn’t for everyone, and even when routines can be helpful, they don’t always look the same for everyone.

For me, self-care isn’t about adding more to my life. It’s about reducing the things that overwhelm me. It’s about creating a sense of safety, comfort, and moments of peace.

1. Making Lists (Because My Brain Holds Too Much)

One of the biggest things I’ve learned about my AuDHD brain is that it can feel like there’s too much going on all at once.

There’s always this constant invisible pressure to have everything sorted out into neat little boxes. My brain would prefer it that way anyways, but we don’t always get to pick and choose.

For me, writing things down helps me remember things easier. It’s always helped me absorb information very quickly.

In a sense, it gives my brain somewhere to rest from all the noise.

Having a list has always been an extra layer of comfort for me. I know that I especially need one when I go to the grocery store.

I remember one Thanksgiving where I thought I had all of the ingredients for every dish memorized. I felt so confident that I had grabbed everything I needed. I went down every aisle, ensuring I got it all.

But when I got home, I realized I hadn’t taken into account how much of each ingredient I would actually need. I barely had enough for the turkey.

I immediately wrote down every measurement and picked up the few items I had missed. Ever since then, a list has always been in my hands.

2. Comfort Items and Sensory Support

I never really realized just how much sensory comfort mattered.

For a long time, I thought these were just preferences. I didn’t realize they were ways my brain was trying to regulate, find comfort, and create a sense of safety.

Things like:

• A soft, cozy blanket: I never realized the joy of feeling tight and secure underneath a weighted blanket. It was a near game-changer for me.

• Comfy clothes: I live in my comfy clothes. It’s hard to pry me out of them unless I have to leave the house.

• A favorite meal: For me, it will always be a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. There’s something about the texture, flavor, and presentation that will always feel like home to me.

• Dim lighting: I never really realized just how sensitive I was to light. I thought everyone struggled with lighting the same way I did. Personally, I need darker spaces to feel comfortable.

• Familiar scents: The smell of marinara simmering over the stove. Apple pie baking in the oven. My mom’s old perfume. These scents bring back memories of some of the things I cherish most.

Those things help my nervous system feel calmer. They remind me that comfort doesn’t always have to be something big or complicated.

Sometimes self-care is really asking ourselves: What feels safe right now?

3. Quiet Time (Not Just Being Alone)

I’ve always needed quiet.

I think it’s because my brain takes in so much. After too much noise, stimulation, or interaction, I need quiet to reset.

Mornings are especially a time when I need quiet the most. My brain needs time to really wake up. I feel like it takes a lot longer than most people to really get going. So, in the morning, I need a cup of coffee and time to slowly jump into reality after a night of rest (that is, if I have a good night’s sleep).

I like having my own space to process everything. If I’m around too much noise, it becomes bigger than a distraction. It becomes my whole world, and I can’t get out of it until I find a moment of peace alone.

I’ve just always felt more grounded when I’m able to have time to myself, surrounded by quiet.

Quiet doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy connection or being around people. It simply means my brain needs space to breathe, process, and reset.

4. Movement That Feels Good

I used to think exercise had to be intense to “count.”

But I’ve learned movement can simply be a way to reconnect with my body.

I haven’t been very active with going to the gym or playing sports like I used to. Nowadays, I prefer a simple walk.

Walking might sound dull or boring, but for me, it’s movement, and it always makes me feel so much better when I do it.

There’s something about being outside, feeling the fresh air, and letting my mind wander that helps me reset.

I feel a sense of relief afterward. It’s like an instant stress release, even if it’s only for that moment. That’s why I try to get out every day and get a walk in.

I realized that it isn’t about changing my body. It’s about helping my mind feel less stuck.

5. Creating Gentle Routines

I used to think routines were restrictive.

But I’ve learned the right routines actually create freedom.

Knowing what comes next can help reduce the mental energy spent making decisions.

Small rituals:

• Morning coffee
• Evening tea
• Journaling
• Sunday meals

These help me feel grounded.

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At the end of the day, I think self-care is about learning yourself.

What restores you. What makes your inner world feel a little softer.

I’m still learning what I need. I’m still learning how to listen to myself instead of constantly pushing through everything.

For my AuDHD brain, self-care is about creating a life that works with my brain instead of constantly fighting against it.

What is one small thing that helps your brain feel safe, calm, or cared for?

“Be patient with yourself. You are learning to unlearn many things and learning many new things.” — Morgan Harper Nichols

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