I’m Not Indecisive. I Just See Too Many Possibilities

I’ve always considered myself a very indecisive person.

I think it’s because my mind constantly changes directions. I jump from one idea that sounds really good to another that suddenly sounds just as good. I can’t help but think about every possible angle before finally deciding—or sometimes, never deciding at all.

Even simple choices can be difficult for me. I’ll go back and forth a dozen times, worrying that I’ll make the wrong choice and regret it because there was a better option sitting right in front of me.

Recently, I’ve started wondering if I’m actually bad at making decisions, or if I just see too many possibilities.

My brain never just sees one option.

When someone asks me a question, I don’t just see the choice in front of me. I see everything that could happen afterward.

I imagine choosing option A. Then option B. Then I start thinking about what happens if A doesn’t work. What if B works too well? Then I think about a completely different option I hadn’t even considered five minutes ago.

Suddenly, what started as a simple decision has turned into an entire mental choose-your-own-adventure story.

And now I’m exhausted.

Over the past few years, I’ve been in a constant debate in my mind over whether or not to move out of state.

Part of me has been desperate for the change and new experience it would bring. It would give me more independence. More freedom. More possibilities.

I’m at a point in my life where I genuinely feel like I need something to change. I want to actually live my life, and in my current situation, I often feel like I don’t.

But another part of me is still hopeful that something will happen where I live.

I love my city.

It’s my home. My comfort. My safety.

I’ve traveled to a lot of states, and I still can’t get over just how perfect Southern California can be. The weather. The laid-back vibes. The familiarity.

It’s not just my home. It’s my haven.

So I find myself stuck between wanting to leave and wanting to stay.

One part of me says, Go. You need something different. You need to see what life could look like somewhere else.

Another part says, But what if you leave and regret it? What if you miss home? What if you move somewhere else and it isn’t what you imagined?

And then my brain comes up with ten more possibilities.

I think part of it truly is fear of the unknown and all of the what-ifs.

I truly envy people who can just make a decision and move on.

My life would be so much easier.

I wish I could just say, “That sounds good. Let’s do it.”

Actually, sometimes I do—especially when I’m put on the spot. But then I’ll go home and rummage over all the other options for days.

I’ll think about what I said.

I’ll think about what I could have said.

I’ll think about whether I actually wanted to say yes.

Then I’ll think about whether saying no would have been better.

And somehow, I’m right back where I started.

I think there’s something truly wonderful about being able to imagine different possibilities.

I really like that part of myself.

I like being curious. I like imagining what could happen. I like thinking about different versions of my life and wondering where they might lead.

I like being able to picture myself somewhere I’ve never been and imagine what life could look like there.

But sometimes the same imagination that makes life interesting can make decisions incredibly difficult.

Because every possibility comes with another possibility.

And another.

And another.

It’s hard to choose one path when your brain keeps reminding you that there are hundreds of other paths you could take.

Sometimes, I don’t want more options.

I want my brain to stop generating them.

And it happens with the smallest things, too.

I can decide that I want to go somewhere, make the plans, and feel completely fine about it. Then later, I’ll start thinking about whether I actually want to go. Maybe I should do something else instead. Maybe I should stay home. Maybe I’ll have more fun somewhere else. Maybe I’m going to regret not doing something different.

It’s ridiculous sometimes.

I can turn a simple plan into something I need to mentally negotiate with myself for the next two days.

And that’s when I realize this really has nothing to do with not knowing what I want.

I usually know what I want.

I just see everything else, too.

I don’t think I’m indecisive because I don’t know what I want.

I think I’m indecisive because I can see too many things I could want.

And that can make choosing just one feel almost impossible.

I’m still trying to figure out how to do that.

I don’t think I’m ever going to stop seeing all the possibilities. That’s just how my mind works.

I just need to get better at knowing when I’ve thought about something enough and it’s time to actually choose.

Because sometimes, there isn’t a perfect choice.

There’s just the choice you make and the life that comes after it.

And I don’t think I need to know exactly what that life will look like before I choose it.

Do you ever struggle to make a decision because you can see too many possibilities, rather than because you don’t know what you want?

“The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn.”— David Russell