Affirmations for Self-Kindness During Tough Times

Some days, our thoughts feel heavier than others.  We tend to doubt ourselves, question our pace, and wonder if we’re doing enough.  On those days, the hard ones, the quiet ones, the ones where we’re trying our best to show up, we deserve kindness.  These are affirmations that might help you feel seen and validated, especially this holiday season.  I suggest saving these words for when you need comfort and a reminder that you are doing better than you think you are. 

Here are five affirmations that help keep me going during tough times: 

I deserve patience, especially from myself

For me, I’m always on myself for not keeping up with everyone else’s pace. My mind is constantly reiterating to me that I’m nothing but a failure at life.  Thoughts will deadlock and create a space of self-loathing and cruel sentiments.  I’ve always been this way, putting negative feelings out there for the universe to swallow up and spit right back out at me. 

I’ve learned that I deserve to be patient with myself, forgiving even.  This has been a difficult process to unlearn, but I’m making small daily changes that have noticeably helped.  Instead of waking up every day, thinking that I’m worthless, lazy, and a waste of space, I now try and allow myself some grace.  I’m not all of those things that I think I am.  This time, I’m choosing kindness over hatred.  Balance over instability.  Positivity over negative behavior.  

Slowly but surely, I’m realizing that being so hard on myself is something that is detrimental to my health, my outlook on life, and my hopes and dreams for the future.  If I keep setting myself up for failure, I’ll never be able to grow and become the person I was always meant to be.  So, give yourself some patience and kindness.  You deserve to be cared for and loved—especially by yourself. 

I choose peace over pressure.

For the longest time, I always felt this insurmountable pressure to keep up, to perform like everyone else, to be an ideal member of society.  But I realized that all of that pressure put a lot of strain on my mental health.  Being neurodivergent, I already have a little bit more pressure than everyone else to fit the “norm.” So, I constantly would burn myself out after hours of masking each day, and I became so emotionally exhausted that I didn’t have the energy to even move.  My brain felt frozen, my body tense, and my nervous system was a complete wreck.  

Whether you want to believe it or not, there is so much pressure to fit into societal standards.  It’s like if you don’t do something by a certain age, you’re a failure.  I’ve deeply felt that my whole life, and I’ve shamed myself immensely for it.  But since I’ve started to feel more comfortable in my own skin and have a better understanding of how my brain operates, I’ve given myself peace over pressure.  I’m beginning to realize that I’m not meant to fit inside everyone’s box. I made to be myself and do things at my own pace without time limits.  It’s okay to be yourself and live your life on your terms.  No pressure necessary. 

I release shame and embrace growth.

Like I’ve said, I experienced years of shame.  Shame for not being able to do things so effortlessly, shamed for not fitting the mold, and shame for not being up to par in society’s eyes.  I feel like I should have shame written all over my face because that’s genuinely what I feel almost daily.  

I’m hard on myself if I’m not productive.  I can’t help but feel guilty for resting, taking breaks, or napping to be honest. It’s this constant battle between my mind and body.  My mind is going millions of miles a minute with ideas, random thoughts, and past experiences.  It’s trying to keep me active.  But my body is telling me to lay down, relax, rejuvenate.  It’s difficult to have this conundrum.   

But I’ve learned that the only way to embrace growth is to release all of that shame and guilt you’ve held onto for years.  I’m trying not to get stuck in the past.  All of the “mistakes” I made, all of the scenarios where I acted odd—whether they are in fact true or not.  I tend to make things up and let my mind run with the idea even though nothing has affected me.  By releasing all of that shame, I’m now able to heal from the inside out.  I’m trying to stay in the present moment and allow myself the peace that I so rightfully deserve.  

My voice matters.

Have you ever seen the movie The King’s Speech? If you haven’t, I couldn’t recommend it highly enough.  It’s tells the story of King George VI of the United Kingdom, who struggled with a severe stutter.  He went to speech therapy for years, working so hard on trying to correct his troubles with speaking. There comes a point in the movie, after struggling for so long, where he firmly states, “I have a voice.” (it’s a powerful moment).  This movie struck something in me.  I realized that I too have a voice, I had just buried it deep down in my soul for a long time because I was too fearful of using it. 

I was too scared of facing judgment, rejection, or disapproval by speaking up.  I couldn’t bring myself to speak at all sometimes because I would just freeze in fear.  But once I understood my neurodivergence, something in me clicked.  I stopped being afraid to speak up, and stand for what I believe in.  I’m now putting myself out there in ways I never would’ve foresaw.  I’m writing my truths, I’m speaking without caring what others think, and I’m putting out videos of myself trying to help others.  I never realized just how important it is to use your voice, because it does matter. 

I am stronger than the thoughts that try to pull me down.

I feel like every day I have some sort of negative thought wanting to drag me down.  The depression is always persistent, always there.  Sometimes it hides in the shadows, other times it’s takes center stage.  More often than not, it loves being the performer.  I’ll start thinking about everything that is wrong we me, and wrong with my life in general.  I’ll become stuck in this paranoid state where everything and everyone is out to get me.  

But I’ve come to realize that all of my thoughts, no matter how intense they may be, are just that—thoughts. I’m much stronger than them.  There was a time when I let the depression consume me entirely, reaching the depths of my inner turmoil.  But you know what? I came out the other end with hope and a new perspective.  I sought out help, and I realized that was one of the strongest things I’ve ever done.  I never realized how much inner strength I do possess, and once I started to see that, I’ve grown more confident.  More confident in the sense that I know I can take care of myself wholly and truly.  I know that I’m much stronger than the thoughts that brought me down.  

I think that we are all works in progress, and that we are finding our way one day at a time.  For me, these affirmations are by no means magical fixes, but rather reminders that we are worthy of compassion, patience, and pride in how far we’ve come.  So, keep showing up for yourself, keep choosing gentleness over shame, and keep believing in the version of you that is trying so hard.  You are worth celebrating, all day, every day. 

What are some affirmations you could use in your daily life?

“Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can, and that is enough.” – Unknown